“Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection.” — Winston Churchill
As we step into the festive season we’re thinking about the gifts that we want this Christmas. Kids are never shy about telling people what they want, but adults are often hesitant. Sometimes we say we don’t want anything for Christmas, because we already have everything we need. What if — though —there are things we need that we aren’t even aware that we need?
There are invisible gifts that can’t be bought in a store, that we all need — maybe this Christmas we need these gifts, or maybe this Christmas, we are able to provide these gifts to someone else. This morning, I’m going to talk about two invisible gifts that could appear on any of our grown-up Christmas wish lists.
The first gift is connection. Connection is a fundamental human need. We are absolutely wired for connection, no matter what our personality is like. Whether we are quiet or loud, talkative or silent, we crave connection, which is defined by Brianna Wiest as “the experience of oneness. It’s having shared experiences, relatable feelings, or similar ideas.”
Connection is an on-going thing, found in day-to-day moments that help us to build a strong sense of tribe and trust. We “check in” with each other from time to time, we reach out when we know someone is struggling or ill, our concern and our presence tells someone that they matter, they are important to us.
In Spain, children don’t write letters to Santa Claus, they write to the Three Kings — the Magi — and tell them what they want for Christmas. A few years ago, the IKEA stores in Spain launched a letter-writing project. They asked every child who came into their store to write two Christmas wish letters: the first to The Three Kings, and a second letter to their parents. Then they allowed the parents to read the letters written by their children.
The letters to the Three Kings were filled with toys and items the children really wanted for Christmas, but the letters to the parents were quite different.
In the letters to their parents, the children didn’t ask for things at all. Instead, they wrote things like:
“I want you to spend more time with me…...”
“I’d like it if you paid a little more attention to us.”
“I’d like it if you would have dinner with us more often.”
“Read us a story.”
“I’d like us to be together for a whole day.”
“I want to play. I want you to play cowboys with me.”
“I want to play soccer with you.”
What their kids wrote in their letters to the Three Kings didn’t surprise the majority of parents. But most of the parents read the second letter through tears. Parents thoughtfully acknowledged their children’s wishes with the following words:
One mother said: “To spend all the time we have with them is the most we can give to our children.”
A father stated: “You want to give them the best you can and the best is yourself.”
Another mother said, “We shouldn’t try to substitute that vacuum with a toy.”
While the children’s letters were thought-provoking, the biggest surprise came when the children were asked, “If you could only send one of these letters, which one would you choose to send?”
Each child chose the letter to their parents.
“Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
What if we took a bit of wisdom from these letters written by these children to their parents? These children requested connection with their parents.
Let’s plan to spend some quality time with our family members this Christmas, and connect with them. Eat a meal together, go out for a meal together. Play a board game or cards together, look at old pictures, talk about favorite memories.
What if we all took some time and wrote a brief letter to our family members, telling each one of them why they are special and what they mean to us, and then put the envelopes on the tree for Christmas morning?
We long for connection — especially within our families. Store-bought gifts will never fill the void of precious time, so we need to give it freely. It’s what kids really want for Christmas, and it’ll last far longer than we can imagine. No batteries or assembly required.
The second invisible gift we might all have on our list this year is love.
There was a Peanuts cartoon that featured Lucy and Charlie Brown on Christmas morning. Lucy walks up to Charlie Brown and says, “Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. ’Tis the season of peace on earth and good will toward men. Therefore, I suggest we forget all our differences and love one another.”
Charlie Brown’s face lights up at this, and he replies, “That’s wonderful, Lucy. I’m so glad you said that. But tell me, can we love each other only at this season of the year? Why can’t we love each other all year long?”
Lucy replies, “What are you, a fanatic or something?”
Yes, my friends, this is the season of love. This is the season in which we open our hearts and tell people that we care about them. And we do that because the arrival of Jesus changed everything. Through the life and teachings of Jesus, we learned a new way to live.
The God of judgment became a God of love.
In I John we find these words:
“We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love, abide in God, and God in them.” — I John 4:16
Maybe this Christmas, we will give love with a new freedom.
Maybe this Christmas, we will see love expressed in ways that we never noticed before.
May this be a Christmas of connection and love for each of us. Amen.
American author, Peg Bracken, has written, “Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.” — Peg Bracken
It is my prayer that we will on purpose, plan to give the gifts of time and love, to as many people as we can this holiday season.
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